What a 6.5 sounds like
In many countries around the world, a large number of young people finish their education but cannot find any job. This is a very serious situation which causes many problems, and in this essay I will explain these problems and suggest some solutions.
Unemployment among young people has terrible consequences. Firstly, a young person who cannot find a job has no income, so he cannot leave his parents' house, get married or start his own family. He may also lose his confidence completely and fall into depression, and in the worst cases some of these people turn to crime or drugs because they have nothing to do all day. This is very dangerous for society, because crime rates increase and everybody feels unsafe. Moreover, the government loses money because these young people do not pay any taxes, and at the same time the state must pay them unemployment benefits, so it is a double loss for the economy. Therefore the government must take action immediately, for example by creating new jobs and by giving money to companies that employ young workers.
There are also other solutions. Universities should cooperate with businesses so that students learn the skills that companies really need, and young people should be encouraged to start their own business instead of waiting for someone to employ them.
In conclusion, youth unemployment destroys the life of young people and damages the whole country, so urgent measures are necessary before the situation becomes worse.
Why it scores what it scores: The content is relevant and the range of ideas is respectable, but the structure works against the task. The prompt asks two questions and the tips warn not to merge them: here the first body paragraph runs problems and measures together and then the second paragraph adds more measures, so neither question gets a clean paragraph. The register also overreaches — destroys the life of, everybody feels unsafe — where the tips ask for precision instead of drama.